It Gets Easier

Some Sundays sacrament meeting feels like an eternity with 3 small children. Sometimes they're hungry because I didn't have enough time to get us all ready and make sure they've eaten enough breakfast. Those are the Sundays we throw poptarts or granola bars into their car seats and pray that they're not smashed into their outfits by the time we arrive at church. Sometimes they're just crabby... I can't blame them we all have our moments. But I always walk into the first part of church with high hopes. They each pretty much have their routines down. Hannah loves to play with the little plastic animals and Book of Mormon figurines on the floor and where they hymnbooks go. Mallie likes to talk and sing as loudly as she can most of the meeting and go back and forth between David and I every 3 minutes. In that process she usually kicks Hannah in the head with every trip. If you know anything about Hannah in real life or this blog you know she doesn't cry because it actually hurts she cries because it hurt her feelings. So she needs a hug and a quick back scratch to feel reassured that the world is not out to get her. Meanwhile Ashton mostly plays well on his own until he realizes one of the little sisters has a toy, snack or parent's lap he is missing out on. Some Sundays we do really well. Some Sundays we don't.

It's a standing joke after a particularly long Sunday of taking different kids out of the meeting that I'll look at David and say "Let's throw another one into the mix since we seem to have this under control." And while I long for the day when I'll have kids old enough to pay attention to sacrament meeting I know this wont last forever. And I can't use Sundays as an indication of whether or not we're ready for another kid. My life is far less stressful with 3 kids 4 and under than it ever was with just one 6 month old baby. I had no idea what my capacity was back then. Throwing more kids in the mix doesn't mean you have less time it means you prioritize better. It means that when you pack to go to the park you no longer bring 1 zip lock of snacks but you bring the entire package of graham crackers or bag of pretzels. I wish I had listened back then when mothers of many would say "it gets easier." I think the Lord blesses us as each child comes with the ability to make it work.

Don't get me wrong throwing another one into the mix does add some new logistical issues that I'll have to figure out. Mostly I'm worried about those dang car carts at the commissary that only have two steering wheels. But am I stressed about having another baby? Not this time...that is if you don't ask me on Sunday.

Alphabet Wall

I've been telling my mom I would post this picture for a couple of weeks now. I've been collecting letters for this silly project for about 3 years now. I kept thinking it would be the best way to decorate a large wall without painting. At the time I started I also thought it would be cheap because I could find all the letters for $.99. When we moved on post and were unpacking I realized I only had 18 letters and I had already spent $40 on letters. I told David I was ready to bag the project and try to see if any poor fellow would buy my 2/3 of an alphabet. David allotted me another $25 and said just hurry and finish it already. So I went online and ordered from a wood cutting company the last 8 letters. Towards the end when I was painting everything David got really into it and helped paint even the baseball "i" was all his idea. So there it is. After all that time and money this will be up in our various houses for at least the next 10 years! I've got to say I had no idea how much we all would love it once it was finished. But mark my words I wont be embarking on a project like this again for a very long time.

Apparently I am too long winded to just post a picture and say "Cool, huh?" Next time...

Meltdowns - But it was me not the kids today.

I was about to post a terribly long FB status about how I'm ready for a fresh start tomorrow. Then I decided to blog it. When I read our blog books later on I want to remember all the great times as well as the raw moments that I can laugh about later.

Today I had my first irrational melt down of this pregnancy. At our preschool party the kids were cold because I underdressed them and for some reason they were all crabby. We left early so I could at least get Mallie in bed for a morning nap. The other two were playing quietly with the batcave so I decided to call At&t to try get my new phone replaced since it's defective. About 30 minutes into the call I'm shushing my starved older two children and telling them not to yell at eachother. 55 minutes and 8 departments later I am finally told my phone will be replaced but that their computers were down and I should go ahead and call back. I started to cry before I even hung up the phone. Then I hear Hannah crying. I walked into the playroom she looked at me and said "Don't be mad at me." She had pooped in her underwear after two weeks of going in the potty. I took out all of my frustrations on Hannah as I cut off her underwear. Side note: That's how I know I can never cloth diaper I throw away poopy underwear like they're wetwipes. I put her on the toilet in the bathroom and the waterworks continued as I called David. I can't remember ever callling him out of control crying he was so alarmed he told me would try and come home early and that if he didn't have to do a presentation at their clinic meeting he would have come home then. When he got home he later told me that he was sure someone was injured or dead because I never call crying like that.

I hung up the phone and read Cindy's wonderful news that Atticus' tumor had shrunk in half thanks to the treatment. So my tears that started as frustration at at&t then guilty tears for freaking out on Hannah turned into happy tears for Atticus having just a little more healthy time. I wish I could say that I turned it all around and was a perfect mother the rest of the day with a new perspective but I was a total wreck. Especially when I went to get Mallie up from her nap and her poopy diaper had leaked everywhere.

I snuggled with Hannah for a long time trying to make both of us feel better. I think her seeing me crying had more of an affect on her than anything I could have said. She kept telling me to put my tears away and that she wouldn't do it again.

David made it home early and sent me to the commissary by myself. I called my sister on the way and she said something along the lines of it's good to have a day like this once in awhile so you realize that all the other days are better than we even give them credit for. That's the thought that stuck with me... if I had to have a crazy hormonal day where I felt completely out of control I'm glad I can use it as a reminder that these days are the rarity. The rest of the afternoon went much much better. But oh how I loathe being emotionally unstable. I'll be glad to start again tomorrow.

Easter 2012

We had the perfect Easter weekend. Friday night we headed to St Louis with the kids. We arrived around 6:30 so we took them to the mall for dinner and to play in the kids area. Then we headed back to the hotel and forced Mallie to stay awake to go swimming for another 45 minutes. We've learned when sleeping in a hotel it's always in our best interest to swim before bed - it's our best bet to make sure the kids will fall right to sleep even in a strange place. Saturday morning David and I swapped turns at the temple and I was so grateful to be there over Easter weekend.

Today we had a great day at church and as we put the kids down for napped I was humbled and grateful thinking about the responsibility we have to teach our kids about Christ all year long. We showed them parts of the Lamb of God for FHE last week and they sat so quitely as they watched Christ perform so many miracles... even at 4 and almost 3 they already get it and talk about Jesus like He is their friend.
After naps today we let them see their easter baskets and go for a hunt. We decided next year we'll do designated colors and hide the eggs accordingly. Ashton was way too fast.

We had Ben & Emily and the Stewarts over so we could share dinner and the famous bunny cake!

Our best shot of the kids! I love the tradition of new dresses each Easter. This year they were especially darling.

Happy Easter 2012!!

Girl #3!

That's right, we're going to have three Jacobson girls right in a row. No one has a testimony of the power of sisters like I do. I'm the baby of a family that went 4 boys and then 4 girls right in a row. The girls are all spaced about 2 years apart and we each were only one grade apart. Growing up we shared clothes, rooms, friends, music, the car and most of our lives. There were points where the Ashton sisters made up the entire ward's young women basketball and volleyball teams. We walked home from school together, went to concerts together, went to girls camp together and road tripped together. We yelled, fought and ignored eachother for whole hours at a time but even during those heated moments they were mine and I loved them. It was a sister who told me that guy wasn't worth it, that dress didn't look right or to quit being so dramatic. Sisters are a safe place. They can tell you something honestly that would be offensive coming from anyone else even your very best friend. 99% of my favorite childhood memories include at least one sister. I loved growing up with them but nothing compares to how much I enjoy them now. They are the first ones I call when I need to compare notes on pregnancy and parenting or have a long day. They are my best friends and I love that my girls will have the same thing growing up.

So here's little girl #3 at 19 weeks. We have no names yet but we do know she's coming to us at the right time and we're excited to have her join the family.

And I know you're wondering how David handled the news. He laments that Ashton wont have his same childhood with brothers close in age but he handled it in stride saying he's just excited for another baby. We also know we're not done having kids so that helps too. I remind him often that Ashton is the perfect big brother to all these girls and while he wont have brothers close in age to play with he already has his fair share of neighbor boys he plays with everyday. And I reminded him that 80% of the toys in the playroom are of the boy genre and that just yesterday his sisters were dressed as batman and spiderman respectively.

I'll save the stories about my Dad eventually being comfortable enough to push around a costco sized box of tampons on the top of his cart without flinching for another day.

We can't wait to see who this girl is in appearance and temperament since Hannah and Mallie are opposites in every sense of the word. Hurray for girls!