This is not
a pregnancy announcement but it seems no one is surprised when another
pregnancy announcement is made from us. Bringing another child into this world
requires a great deal of courage from both David and I. We pray fervently to
know when/if we should have another child. We are open to the Lord’s will. I
have felt the impression so strongly that instead of praying with the mindset
of “Can we be done yet?” my request should be a sincere “please, don’t let us leave anyone behind.” We have tried diligently to not make it about us, and what we
think our capacity is, but about our Heavenly Father’s plan for our family. We
know families are eternal and by golly if there is another little spirit up
there in the David and Sammy Jacobson cue we do not want them left behind.
I say
bringing another baby here requires courage, not just because another child
requires more of our time, love, resources and capacity. I say it because every
single time we leave the house with all of our kids we have to be ready and
geared up for the barrage of stares and comments that will follow. Heads bob as
they silently count the kids surrounding us. Then the comments start flying, “you
sure have your hands full,” has been uttered our direction at least a hundred times. And oh the sweet comments, mostly from the elderly of “God bless you”
make my day especially when the kids aren’t lined up perfectly behaved like
obedient little ducklings.
David and I
know we are on display constantly. I don’t blame people; I also stare at big
families. Sometimes, David and I will split up in the grocery store with 3 each
for a few reasons. The first being that when we all walk together we completely
take over an aisle. Second, we have figured out sometimes in public, 1 on 3 parenting is more
effective than 2 on 6. Thirdly, if we’re
separated with 3 each, we can avoid the publicity that comes when all 8 of us
are together. I know people must constantly wonder if we are irresponsible or
crazy. How can we possibly give them the love and attention they all need? When
they’re acting like normal kids with added volume because of how many there are
or even misbehaving I know most are probably judging us. I know that is not unique to us. It is the theme of all parents who do not have perfectly behaved children. We have had
to learn to stop caring about what everyone else thinks about our choices. It's a choice we have to make daily. Some days are easier than others.
Isn’t that
the theme of mortality? That we cannot base our decisions on what our peers
think is right or wrong? Aren't we all on display when we choose to do something outside of the "norm" as we follow Jesus Christ? In every aspect of our lives we have to rise above
human nature and seek divine approval.
I don’t know
why I felt the need to write this this morning. I was reading in the Ensign
this morning a great article about following the Lord’s will. Sometimes we
struggle to know His will. Sometimes we want to follow His will but we run into roadblocks. It may be hard at times but it brings so much joy. I know, without a doubt, as we diligently seek our prayers will
be answered. That He will make us better than we are, if we let Him.
