12.19.2012

What's working...

I've learned the first rule of parenting is trial and error. It doesn't matter how many people tell you do this or that you still have to figure out what works best for your kids and you as a parent. Some things work. Lots of things don't. So when something works I get giddy with excitement. Here are some things that have worked for us recently.
 
Behavior Charts.
 
I am a big fan of the Super Nanny. I love how she handles time out (or the naughty chair - 1 minute per year). But ever since cold weather has come upon us I've found that with the 3 kids (not in real school) aged so close together results in my entire day setting the timer. Super Nanny says it's one warning and then time out. We try not to be softies about this (David does way better than I do). We want them to understand it's one warning and we're not a broken record telling them over and again "no". That being said... 2,3 or 5 minutes in time out just because they got down from their chair at dinner was getting excessive for all of us. So I found a system that works for us. We've bee using it for just over 2 weeks and it's awesome. Here is the site I got it from.  In short, when they misbehave and it's something small on the 2nd warning they go flip over a coin (one of the circle pictures). To earn the coin back they have to help me (do an extra chore) or I catch them being nice. If they have all 5 coins flipped over when it's time for bed they get a sticker. After ten stickers they get a reward of their choice. Hannah and Mallie's are all food. Donut, Ice Cream Cone etc. Ashton has moved on to staying up late or a small Marvel Pack (he's going to have to use 20 stickers for that).
I used to think I wanted my kids to behave for the sake of being good without a reward. Couldn't they just be good to be good? There are rewards in life. And I would reward them all the time for being good with extra treats just not in such a structured way. This system has worked so well for us. It's visual for them AND so productive for me. Instead of wasting 3 minutes sitting in time out they get to do something extra to help out. We're loving it. Mallie is still a little young for it but we're still trying to help her understand. I'd say by age 3 they're old enough to get it. We wont need this system forever but for now it's changed our lives.
 
 
Next up - reading. I bought the classic Teach Your Kid to read in 100 Lessons off Amazon a year ago that everyone says works. It was horrible. You had to read prompts word for word and make flash cards. Ashton hated it and I did too. So a few months ago I bought this beauty.
This has changed how we both feel about teaching him to read. This book is so well laid out and in the perfect combination of sight words and sounding out on his own.
 
You get to open the book and read with your child instead of teaching at them. Here is what a page from the book looks like.


We started a little over a month ago and Ashton can read that whole page by himself. We do 1 page a day and it takes less than 5 minutes. I can't say enough good things about this book!!

So we've figured out some things. Ask me about how getting my kids to eat their vegetables or try new foods is going and you'll realize I'm still very humble in the parenting department. Although I still am a picky eater so I know I'm exuding a little too much sympathy in that aspect. We're learning as we go and I've accepted the fact that parenting is not to be figured out in one lump sum. Just mostly enjoyed as you get it step by step!

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